Today, friends, was a breakthrough in culinary happiness

We’re not just talking, like, “That was some fine cuisine” good. No…no…that’s just way to little. We’re talking, “Oh my dear sweet god…there has never been, and there never will be, similar foodstuffs that could come anywhere close to the goodness of what I just put into my belly.”

That is what I experienced today at Torchy’s Tacos…pure culinary genius. Little (but big for tacos) bundles of pure heaven served within shining sheaths of aluminum foil.

I truly believe that if I all of a sudden died right after eating these tacos, I would have died one of the happiest individuals on the planet. I would have died thinking, “I have experienced Taco Nirvana.”

If heroin is the true drug connoisseur’s “Drug of Choice”, then I would have to say that these tacos are one above that.

If I could direct inject them into a vein, I would happily tap a vein or five and start pumping away.

I hope my point is made.

Torchy’s is located on West 6th street in the parking lot of a restaurant called ‘Woodrow’s’. Note that I said in a parking lot; these glorious little bastards are served from a trailer. A new friend at work told me about it, and I was excited. These are TACOS we’re talking about…and who can’t get excited about tacos in Austin?…especially when you’ve been taco-deprived for most of the years of your life.

But I had no idea that I’d basically be falling in love.

I ordered a breakfast taco with potatoes, egg and cheese and a Green Chili Pork Taco, flour tortilla (instead of corn) hold the cilantro, please. Upon getting back to the office and sitting at my desk, I promptly unwrapped the breakfast taco. I was surprised at the fact that it wasn’t completely soggy and gross as I had just walked about 5 blocks to get back. I also got waylaid for about 10 minutes at CVS because they didn’t have enough cashiers. But that’s a different story…

I noticed they put some green chili salsa and what I think was green chili queso in with the bag. I threw the salsa on but decided to save the queso for the other taco.

Within my first bite, I recall seeing Jesus. In person. Dressed in a nicely cut wool suit. With really pimp looking sunglasses. He was pointing at me saying, “Son, that is the best taco you’ve ever had, right?”

Right.

It was the kind of experience where you feel like every bite is magical, like you want to savour it as if it were going to be the last bite of something you ever take. Everything was in its place and as it should be…a beautiful greasy mix of eggs, potatoes and cheese all glommed together in one of the tastiest (most likely 100% lard based) tortillas ever.

After finishing the first, I quickly moved to the second…the Green Chili Pork Taco. This one was something special because I am a green chili fiend. And even though we live in Texas, green chili just isn’t as prevalent as I thought it would be. But here we had it ready and available in a taco, ready to be consumed with much vigor.

After dumping some of the green chili queso AND the remainder of the green chili salsa, I took a bite. Again, Jesus, standing there in the wool suit, pointing at me with a smile and saying, “Son, I sinned. I lied to you. But that’s OK because I’m Jesus. That first taco was child’s play. This one you’re eating now…THIS one is the best taco you’ve ever had, right?”

Right.

I’m not even going to try and explain how good this thing was because, honestly, I don’t think there are any words to describe it. Let’s just say that my life has changed. I now know that not all tacos are anywhere NEAR created equal.

If you haven’t been and you live in Austin, I need for you to stop what you’re doing right now and go there. NOW. Go there and eat a taco as if your life depended on it.

If you haven’t been and you don’t live in Austin, do yourself a favor and buy a plane ticket to come down and have lunch there.

You will be happy.

Here’s the menu for you. I’ve been told that The Trailer Park, extra trashy (read “take the lettuce off and smother the thing in lots of queso) and the Ranch Hand are unbelievable. If they are better than the two that I had, then I’m note quite sure that my taste buds would be able to take it without my head spontaneously combusting.

Why are you still reading this? Go now.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 25th, 2008 at 10:07 pm and is filed under General, Life, Cool thing of the day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.