I’m very thankful that I’ve been fortunate enough to meet good quality people with sense, values, good nature and at least half a brain. Thank you for being my friends and acquaintainces.

That said, I am left wondering…but unfortunately not surprised…how it is that for every person I’ve met who fits the above description, there must be at least 100 complete muppets.

Case in point…

Yesterday, Christy tells me that at school one of her fellow teachers was walking around and heard some wailing that sounded like a cat. After some closer inspection, the teacher came upon a bucket where the noise was coming from. The bucket had two heavy logs on top of it. Removing the logs and lifting the bucket revealed a small, emaciated, bleeding, upset 6 week old pitbull puppy.

I mean, I guess the previous owner had the pup’s best interest in mind. They left it with a small food and water bowl (empty) and a little piece of carpet for it to lay on. That was sure thoughtful and nice. Of course, the pup was wallowing around in it’s own bodily functions.

Hey, but…you know…no big deal. It’s just a stupid animal.

But then there’s the bleeding thing. Beyond being left in the cold…under a bucket…with no food and water…lounging around on a urine/feces soaked piece of carpet…lo and behold, the little guy looks like he’s sans a couple of ears.

The fine individual who owned this baby animal previously decided they wanted to perform the surgical procedure of having the puppy’s ears clipped. And when said individual finished with his/her handiwork and saw that he/she screwed it up, they decided that they didn’t want Mr. Scrappy McPuppy anymore. And so we have the situation described above.

What is ear clipping, you ask? For the sake of someone happening to stumble on this who is wondering if they should/should not have their puppy’s ears clipped, I’ll describe it in some detail. If you’re faint of heart, you probably don’t want to read the following description.

THE ART OF EAR CLIPPING - A Fairy Tale by Andrew Geonetta

Let’s cut to the chase; clipping the ears invovles cutting about 1/3 to 2/3rds of it off. Imagine, if you will, what it feels like to have someone flick the upper part of your ear when it’s really cold out. Now imagine someone taking a sharpened object to them. While anesthesia is (obviously) involved in the procedure, it’s still a painful, traumatic thing for a puppy to experience. They generally wail and cry for a couple of days after. And the younger the better; after 10 weeks, the chances of things going well lessen considerably.

Then there’s the healing part. It takes anywhere from two to three weeks for that to happen. During that time, you have the pleasant experiecne of removing the scabs from the ear. Once that is done, you put an antibacterial gel on the wounds. This happens several times a day.

Did I mention that this is a small puppy we’re talking about?

But at the end of the two weeks, the ears don’t just magically stand up; you have to make them do it.  There are a couple of different ways to make this happen, but normally, you take the ears and place wooden posts next to them (you ‘rack’ them). You then take surgical tape and wrap it around the ear and the post. I’ve seen it where some will actually run a stitch between the two ears to keep them ‘even’. During this time, you’re basically manipulating the ear cartilage to harden in a different way than it was meant to. This whole process can take anywhere from a month to almost an entire year. And if it doesn’t harden correctly, after all of that pain and suffering, the ears sometimes won’t even stand.

THE END

Why is this done? Well, when certain breeds were (and still are) used as guards or for fighting, it helped them to hear a little better and left them one less thing for an attacker/invader to latch onto and potentially injure. Same with tail docking. For guard dogs or true ‘working dogs’, fine. I get it. Otherwise, it’s just a stupid “cosmetic practice” that has been banned in many European countries.

For some pitbull owners (and we both know who those types are), the reasoning behind having the ears clipped is to ‘make ‘em look tough’. Great idea. Let’s take an already stigmatized breed and give the common non-canine educated public even more of a reason to hate it.

I don’t understand how you can look at an animal and not be able to see that it is a living breathing thing that is ALIVE and has FEELINGS. While those feelings are certainly not as developed or realized as a human’s, that doesn’t mean a damn thing. A dog might not be able to explain the concept of love and loyalty to you in any way (and really, can a human truly do that either?), but they feel them and their instinct naturally drives them to the ‘idea’. Humans think that just because they can put words to these ‘ideas’ that it somehow makes it more relevant and meaninful to them. That just isn’t true.

One of my favorite things in the world is to listen to my dog Macy breathe. If you have a dog (or any animal for that matter) I encourage you to take 5 minutes, lay next to them and just listen to them be alive. It makes you realize how awesome life is, how simple it should be and how much you should appreciate a living being that has the capacity to love and care about you more than itself.

You can learn an incredible amount about yourself from an animal. Stripping away arrogance, judgement, self-focus, and any number of other distractions results in realizing the pleasure that simplicity brings. It allows you to love without bias and appreciate the concept of being in the moment.

Love your animals and treat them with the respect they deserve.

One fine Saturday afternoon at Border’s, I was lovingly perusing books when I suddenly felt the urge to use the restroom. I made my way there, selected a stall and proceeded about my business. Out of the periphery of my vision, I notice that the stall next to mine is occupied and don’t think much of it until I hear something drop to the floor.

Looking down next to the pair of feet in the stall next to mine, I see a book.

Looking closer, I see that it’s the book you see in the image to the left, “How to be Kinky”.

Now, let’s stop right there for a second. In a span of about 3-5 seconds, my brain went through this little thought process: “whatthehellisthatohmanthatsreallydisgustingbutkindoffunnyhavetostiflealaughwaitasecondgrabyourcameraphoneandtakeapicture!”

And that’s what I did to share with all of you, friends.

There are two more minor details to this story that give it additional gross/creep factor:

1. This dude had a bottle of Coke sitting on the floor next to the toilet. It was open. And he took a couple of sips of it while doing whatever it was he was doing.

2. He left before I did. But out of curiosity, I wanted to put a face to this lovely experience…and I really wish I hadn’t. I quickly found him (ID’d by shoes and Coke bottle), and was completely creeped out. This was a guy that looked like a frog. He looked to be in his mid-forties, and was wearing kind of old-school tapered acid washed jeans and a mustard-yellow shirt that covered a beer gut. He had a receeding mess of grey hair, thick glasses and had a small case of slack jaw.  Guess where I found him? In the magazine section taking a look at a Maxim.

I shuddered and walked away. But at least I walked away with this prize of a picture…

Friends, I now live in the city that holds the world record for the largest synchronized Thriller dance. I can’t even being to tell you how proud I am of this, so instead, I’ll just post the video and let you bask in its glory.

No, I did no participate, and I’m hanging my head in shame because of it.

Today I bring you this picture from my friend Ann’s photo archive on Facebook. I was scrolling through some of the pics there and found it and got a chuckle at…what…5:35 AM? Yeah, that. I thought it was appropriate, considering that I’m awake at that ridiculously awful time. I’m not sure why this is happening; it has now for the past three weeks. I’ve gone through stints like this before where I’m just all of a sudden awake.

So…why DOES god hate me?

Fortunately, what is depicted is not the case this morning. If I woke up at this ridiculous hour to find that I am no longer able to be voluntarily ensared in the Internets, I would surely suffer greatly. OK…not greatly, but I’d certainly hurt a little in my heart.

This is the best thing I think I’ve EVER seen. I’ve found new inspiration. I’m going to join this band if it’s the last thing I do.