Archive for October, 2008

kinky.jpgOne fine Saturday afternoon at Border’s, I was lovingly perusing books when I suddenly felt the urge to use the restroom. I made my way there, selected a stall and proceeded about my business. Out of the periphery of my vision, I notice that the stall next to mine is occupied and don’t think much of it until I hear something drop to the floor.

Looking down next to the pair of feet in the stall next to mine, I see a book.

Looking closer, I see that it’s the book you see in the image to the left, “How to be Kinky”.

Now, let’s stop right there for a second. In a span of about 3-5 seconds, my brain went through this little thought process: “whatthehellisthatohmanthatsreallydisgustingbutkindoffunnyhavetostiflealaughwaitasecondgrabyourcameraphoneandtakeapicture!”

And that’s what I did to share with all of you, friends.

There are two more minor details to this story that give it additional gross/creep factor:

1. This dude had a bottle of Coke sitting on the floor next to the toilet. It was open. And he took a couple of sips of it while doing whatever it was he was doing.

2. He left before I did. But out of curiosity, I wanted to put a face to this lovely experience…and I really wish I hadn’t. I quickly found him (ID’d by shoes and Coke bottle), and was completely creeped out. This was a guy that looked like a frog. He looked to be in his mid-forties, and was wearing kind of old-school tapered acid washed jeans and a mustard-yellow shirt that covered a beer gut. He had a receeding mess of grey hair, thick glasses and had a small case of slack jaw.  Guess where I found him? In the magazine section taking a look at a Maxim.

I shuddered and walked away. But at least I walked away with this prize of a picture…

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Friends, I now live in the city that holds the world record for the largest synchronized Thriller dance. I can’t even being to tell you how proud I am of this, so instead, I’ll just post the video and let you bask in its glory.

No, I did no participate, and I’m hanging my head in shame because of it.

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This is so incredibly hard to watch. Thanks Andrew M.

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Hi-lar-i-ous. And timely.

Thanks to my long lost college buddy Cary H. for this golden nugget…

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